As soon as I start writing...

I've neglected this blog for a while now. I know though, that as soon as I start writing something, I am going to want to write more. This is a short post, but I have more, more, more to say.

Short post.

Here it goes.

STOP STARING AT ME!

I am not a museum piece. This goes out to all those people who grope me with their eyes, and all those merchants whose 'white tax' is a little to high. I am part of the last group on earth to know objectification as existential. I am an educated, upper-middle class, white, American male. I am not a woman. I am not colored. At home, I am not excoticized. For millions all over the globe, what I say is cool becomes cool - singularly because someone like me said it.

Put me here, and I know. Put me here and let a person I was trying to befriend stop me to say, "Listen Caucasian boy..." Put me here and let little children look at me like they don't trust me. Put me here and let men and women alike look at me like I am nothing like the fabric of the life I have been leading for two months. Let them look.

I am still a man. I am still rich by any Indian standard. I am still American with all the pros that come with it. I am still safe. So it is easier to bear for me.

But now I know, and I will punch any person that tells me I don't. Do you not think I am affected? Do you think I do not think I understand what singularity feels like in a sea of people? Do you not think I cherish the sense of community, or at least anonymity, that denotatively exists in opposition to it? I do.

Not knowing where to turn breeds a despair that I didn't even think I was allowed to feel before.

I am still able to take it, now. I know the feeling now. I'm telling you, right now, that I'm going to use what I've learned. Let them look.